A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.

Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.

She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.

Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 5 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.

My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Conscious Discovery Of Self

Right now I'm all about discovering who I really am, what that looks like, and who's on a journey like unto myself. I think most people say "I am who I am," without ever evaluating who they "truly" are. I've always been the woman who looks at herself and says: "Who are you truly being, and do you like who it is?" At varying points in my life, this question has been felt deep down within the aching of my soul and other times; merely a reflection in the mirror. At points in my life, I've allowed external circumstances to interfere with my own Conscious Discovery of Self; and at this point in my life, that's just not something I'm willing to do anymore. I'm being unapologetically me more now than ever, because I knew something needed to shift within me, to change. 

I'm asking myself the hard questions in life. I'm having deep conversations within my heart, and only I truly have the answers I seek. When we seek for answers outside of ourselves, we can't really understand the measure of our creation, our purpose, nor can we see the path were meant to take. While other people can inspire us, encourage us or remind us of who we truly are, ultimately, discovery of self  comes from knowing what you hold within yourself. 

Awareness of your own talents, abilities and gifts can change over time based upon how you view yourself. You see, these talents, abilities and gifts have always been there waiting to be accessed, and refined and discovered by that side of yourself that is willing to act upon them. The side of yourself that is willing to live to the quality of consciousness it requires to tap into "who you truly are," takes courage, and eventually becomes just as important as breathing. With that being said, I realize how difficult the journey can be, and acknowledge the struggle in the serendipity of it all. 

Discovering who we truly are comes as fast or as slow as we are willing to allow it. Do we really want to see who we are? Do we want to take that good, hard look at what's underneath the exterior of our body and ask the simple question we know is so important: Who am I? Once we begin to ask ourselves this simple question, many other questions, more complicated questions should follow, unless we are scared of truly accessing who we truly are, because once we do that, we are required to act upon who we truly are, we are required to now live up to that potential that we've seen within ourselves each and every day. We must live up to our amazingness even in the face of failure, or success. 

I know how hard it is to live up to something once awareness occurs.....

Truly, I do and the reason I do is because I have struggled with this my whole life. Growing up, I knew that I was meant for greatness, my name even begs the thought that I was born to be great in my lifetime, yet I struggled to believe this about myself. Who was I to shine when other's couldn't? Who was I to be great when I didn't see greatness around me? Yet, I knew the calling on my heart, I knew that somewhere deep inside of me that I was born with unique talents that would bless not only my life, but the lives of those around me. I've been through rough experiences in my life, and because I wasn't aware of my own power, those experiences brought me down with them. 

When we begin to accept who we truly are, we begin to understand the world around us, and our place within it. We become aware of our own needs, wants and desires. WE make the internal shift that gives ourselves permission to be in the discovery of ourselves, to be conscious of who we are, not only on a moment to moment basis, yet also on an eternal basis as well. 

I have a few amazing friends who have found ways to love themselves with acceptance, and look at their own journey with light and love, they have given a few thoughts on how they are growing on their own journey to self discovery. 

Sasha says: 

"I love and accept myself through accepting my faults, accepting that I can't do everything all of the time. I love myself through knowing that all I can do is my best and that sometimes I fall short. I have discovered myself through knowing that I am who I am. I am a daughter of God and I need to view myself as such.

Isn't it amazing how we each have our individual paths to discover and it's beautiful that Sasha realizes she can love herself, even through her flaws! 

Another friend of mine, Megan has discovered through her personal journey of life experience with drug addiction that she is "Strong, powerful, and capable!" Megan says: "I love and accept my past adn my present and all the lessons I have learned in gratitude by waking up every morning and thanking Heavenly Father for one more day. One more day I don't have to struggle without the healing of the atonement and repentance. One more day to look into the three smiling faces of my children. One more day waking up next to my soul mate. I discovered who I was through complete honesty." 

The honesty it requires to ask the questions which generate awareness is a process worth going through, and can help us find the contentment within ourselves which surpasses all earthly possessions, and can create a happiness that is eternal. I'm blessed to be on this journey of Conscious Discovery, and am becoming more aware each day that I wake up with a hunger in my soul that can only be satisfied with an adventure only I can journey. I'm blessed to have individuals in my life that support this awareness, that too seek for self discovery and love for self. 

I hope those that are reading this are asking themselves the question: Who am I? I hope they see the journey their on and realize how great they are. May these words find you in light and love!


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