A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.

Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.

She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.

Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 5 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.

My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

My Love Letter to Mom's, With Birdies still in the nest.

Today was a long day, We all know the routine! Get up, scramble to get the kiddos dressed, warm and ready to head out the door to school! On top of all of that, it's freezing temperatures here in lovely Utah! So even though I went outside 15 minutes to heat up the car, it still wasn't warm inside by the time the kiddos hopped in it! So then  there's the "Mom, I'm too cold, I can't buckle my seat belt, because my hands are freezing cold!"

Gosh, I don't know what's worse hearing them tell me they can't buckle their seat belts a million times over, or that they are cold? Of course, I threw the Jackets in the washing machine last night, and then straight fell asleep at 8pm, right after the kids fell out...

Who does that, and OF COURSE, I didn't remember until it was time to go...Needless to say, my daughter went to school in two scarfs, a puffer coat with no sleeves, except for a long sleeve shirt. Thank Goodness she only goes from Car to Door and back again. You would think, that after having been a mom for almost six years, I would somewhat have it together by now, but I can't honestly say that I am NO WHERE near that.

Frankly, I am done being hard on myself about it. I'm ready to laugh at myself by now. Oh, and of course, let me put this tid bit in. Rosie jumps out the car and says to the Morning Lot Lady: "Mommy forgot to put my coat in the dryer." Beaming with a smile and all. This is what makes me laugh. Because she looked absolutely content in her scarf, puffer jacket, snow boots and hat. She was so proud to tell anyone who would listen why she got to wear her puffer jacket to school. I just smiled and went about my business. My house is clean for the moment, which in all actuality makes me very happy, however, I know it'll only take one week of school to change that moment. However, I'm just going to bask in the fact that my house is clean and it feels really good to go to sleep with it that way.

This topic alone reminds that I need to be a better Mom at having my children clean up after themselves. Which who wants to even begin that battle in the first place, right? I wish I was one of those mom's with the cool charts, and consistency the size of Texas; However, reality is...I try to be, but I'm just not at this moment in my life. I remember in college, I was so organized. I had post it notes, binders, highlighters, calendars for days...Every night, I'd write down what I needed to get done the next day, and some days I do that now...As a Stay at Home Mom who doesn't currently have a business from home or anything, I feel like what's the point of doing all of that when I'm just going to be juggling tons of things around anyways...One day, I'll remember how important all that stuff is, right?

Mom's need other mom's. Mom's need other non-judgmental mom's. Mom's need nights away. Mom's need friends who let them know how good of a job their doing (Which you really are doing a good job, you know? Really! Your Family would be absolutely lost without you! I'm serious!) Mom's need sugar and salt. Mom's give every ounce they have of themselves for their children and for their families. Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding and demanding thing I've taken on my entire life & I been through some ish!!! I love when it's quiet, and every one is getting along. I want to pull my hair out when everything seems to be going a million miles an hour, and no one gets along, including the children and the husband! (Which we all know, they are just man size children sometimes. JS Don't get offended my dudes. There are a rare few, you know who you are that don't obtain this title.)

All the time, I want to just sit and do nothing, because I feel like the moment my eyes open in the morning, that all I am doing is....something. Such is life when your birdies are still in the nest and begging for worms, and you're the only thing they have to gain their nutrition. I love my "job," and I'm blessed to be able to care for my family the way I do, and so are you, no matter how you do it, whether you stay home, work form home or work outside of the home; We all are blessed to have our children, or those we care for in our homes. We are all blessed to be called mom, it's a responsibility and a privilege.

Let's just remember that, in order to feed our birdies, we also need to feed ourselves. We need to be aware of what it is that we need in our own lives, to be able to make it through those hard, wanna pull your hair out days. We need nourishment, just as our little birdies do. Whatever that looks like to you, matters. It makes a difference when we know what makes us happy, and content with living life; It helps us realize who we are as women. We are not just Mama's, we are women, with certain needs, that our children cannot fulfill, and dare I say, neither can our spouses. We have to be the one's to figure out what fulfills us. Our gas tanks need fuel, to be able to keep up the pace with our demanding "jobs." Women have so much to give the world, so many gifts to offer. How can we possible offer our gifts, if we are unaware of them, simply because we have forgotten to be curious in our self awareness. (Trust me, I have forgotten this awareness of self, majorly in my adult life, especially my thirties.)

In the end,

Love yourself. And the rest will follow.

One Love,

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