A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.

Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.

She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.

Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 5 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.

My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

It's simple, Really.

I have often asked myself if others view me as a simple person? I want to think that I am a simple person, however, I know better than to fall into that fantasy. Complicated is who I am, complex in most every way. I think way to much about every single detail of my life. If I have an emotion I wear in right on my sleeve, and try to pretend that it's not apart of me, but the truth is, I am sure that those that really know me can read right through me. I care way too much. I love way to hard. What other people think of me matters way too much to me, this one part of myself I wish wasn't part of my character. This has caused me so much heartache in my life. The emotions that other people have, I literally feel in my own heart. It's been that way pretty much my whole life. Recently, I've come to know it as empathic. I've always been "in tune" with those around me, and my dreams have always been something that guide me in my actions and how I talk to people that I care about. Lately, I have felt so confused about many things in my personal life. Because I overthink everything I feel in my life, it has created this anxiety within me, and because those feelings go unsolved or unsaid I tend to worry about them even more. Sometimes, I think there is something wrong with me because I feel so deeply. I have so much I want to say that I feel like I can't say because I'm not "suppose" to. My heart feels town in many directions lately. As I turn in prayer to my Father in Heaven, I realize that I've made so many mistakes in my life, and he reminds me that everything is going to be okay, even though it doesn't feel like it's going to be that way.
There's only one thing on my mind, and it's not a material item, or possession. It can only be felt with my own heart, and nobody else can see it, or feel it but me. I wish it would just go away and never come back. I would burn it in a wood pile on a beach of sand if I could, I would unwrite it from the etches of my heart, and even from the start it was never what I wanted to feel and it was never something I wanted to hold dear. I wish I never met the feeling I feel, and I wish it wasn't real.

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