A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.

Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.

She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.

Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 5 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.

My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

My good luck charm

On July 13th, a friday, my son was brought into this world at 7:32pm. He weighed 3lbs 5.6oz and was 16 and 3/4inches long. As I heard his cry, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and happiness knowing that he came into this world making the joyous noise I prayed he would, the only time in a mother's life that she hopes for her child's cry. As I went through his birth, I remember feeling nervous, excited and hopeful that his health was in good condition. Right after he was born, Daddy was able to take some pictures and then I was able to snuggle with him a little bit, he was breathing on his own, and was taken to the NICU. As I layed on the table getting stiched back up, Cameron was right there by my side just like he was with LillyRose, and I couldn't ask for a better partner to be there with me. Born just days before our two year anniversary, our son was just another gift in our marriage from God. I am so thankful for my little Friday the 13th Good Luck Charm! :)

In one week I got to experience many joyouse feelings. I feel like God has truly given me an answered prayer. A prayer that a little girl, then young woman prayed for with all of her heart. A person that I can spend the rest of my life with in happiness, A person that  loves me for me and wants the family I've always dreamed about having. A person that understands just gets me and accepts my flaws and perfections.  A prayer that only God would understand.

God knew what my heart wanted and needed and he gave it to me, and I trust in his plan for my life and in his goodness. I put faith in Jesus Christ and this has made my life so much more fulfilling than it has ever been. When a 15 year old girl makes a prayer, and isn't quite sure whether or not God hears her, but realizes 16 years later that he did, it can change a whole life in just one day. "A change of heart and a Change of life style" can happen. I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS 4 YEARS AGO! Christ has changed my heart and my life. Even through all the mistakes I've made in my life, God has been there with me, guiding me and I didn't even know it! Leading me in the right direction, placing in my path all the things that brought me back to him and the goodness he had for my future. The LOVE of my life, My children, Adventure, Service, Friendships, Experience, Motherhood, College, My testimony, Healing, and Happiness. I could go on deeper into the JOY of life that I feel moment to moment. The trials I have overcome, and felt over the last 4 years that have tested my faith in God, Jesus Christ and Gospel have also given me the peace I feel deep within me as well. And the fact that my peace comes from within myself and not from the approval of anyone else is how I know I truly am a different woman. Of course I struggle: that is what we are supposed to do in order to have growth in our lives!

I know that God lives and he hears and answers our prayers. And the fact that I know this for myself makes me full of sincere love for him, and extremely desirous of getting to know him better. I am so thankful for the birth of my son, and the gift God has given me. No words can describe what I feel about my little family-My prayer answered-In good times and bad, through thick and thin, Sealed for time and all eternity-Forever. My husband and I make a really good team-and he teaches me all the time how to forgive and be forgiven. He teaches me how to love myself. He sees with eyes I have yet to see with when he looks at me. Days out of the blue--are days that I find myself gaining a deeper sense of love for him just because he did something that no other person has done for me-Just the way he made me feel as a woman, or as a person. He reminds me that it's okay to be happy, it's okay to have a good marriage. I feel so lucky that he choose me. I have so many good luck charms in my life right now. :)