A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.

Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.

She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.

Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 5 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.

My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Young Family Update

I've found that my blogging has become as scarce as my journaling. I don't know if that's because of how busy we have been with the news of our new baby, our move to Virginia or a combination of everything! I think it's just been a certain amount of writer's block, quite honestly. There are moments in time when I don't know what to do without finding my way to a pen and paper, or keyboard. However, there are other times where I just feel like everytime I sit down to write, nothing seems to come to mind that is worth writing. I'm sure it's just a case of "stuffed emotions" because usually that's what happens when I can't write. :)

Here I am, today. Writing.

The last time I wrote was in November, and I am sure that it was before we found out about the news of our new baby! I'll be quite honest, when I first had a "feeling" that I was pregnant, I wasn't the happiest woman on the block, my husband on the other hand was estatic as he usually is! (He somehow finds his wife being pregnant very attractive, something to do with his posterity. lol) I remember taking "the test" and seeing two little pink lines show up and repeating to myself: This cannot be happening! I was a mixture of happy, sad, angry and confused all at the same time. Why? You may ask? Well, my doctors had told me not to get pregnant for 3-5 years, and here I was 9 months after the birth of our daughter: Pregnant. Not to mention we were using birth control, so it came as a bit of a shock to me. We are the .01 percent. (God had other plans than we did in other words.) After my initial "temper tantrum" I realized how silly I was being and that I was being blessed by Heavenly Father. It took me a little longer than my husband to start feeling elated with the news of our second baby. With his help, my dad's help, family and friends support, I started to realize that everything would be okay with me and this pregnancy. :)

The New Year came, I couldn't believe that I was married, had a daughter, pregnant with our second baby and about to turn 31 in March. It still feels surreal sometimes that my life is where it is today. If I wasn't ready for a second child, I really wasn't ready for the news we recieved in February. We had thought that my husband's training for his new MOS (what he does in the Army) wasn't until July, and we were planning our life accordingly, that is until we recieved news that his training date had been moved to March 30th and it was a PCS (Permanant Change of Station) which meant that we all: My husband, self, daughter and our new little bundle would be moving to Virginia in less than a month's time. Our little one bedroom apartment would be packed, shipped and we would drive 3,000 miles across the country. I was excited, terrified and "okay." I was mentally preparing myself to say goodbye to my family, friends and state that I had lived in for 30 years. I knew that where ever my husband was, I wanted to be too, regardless of how much I would miss my own loved one's. The time went by so fast from the time we found out about our move to Virginia to the time we were leaving and saying goodbye. I think the hardest part was saying goodbye to my "boys." All of whom I felt a "motherly" instinct toward. By far it has been the most challenging thing emotionally I have faced to move away from the "nest."

As we started our trip to Virginia, I tried to think of it as an adventure. I kept my mind clear from all the "what if" possibilites that could occur. On our way we had the chance to visit my in laws, and several of my husband's siblings and found even this to be somewhat comforting knowing that at least I still had "family" surrouding me. It wasn't until we left the last "family" house that I would feel my first feeling of having no family around me. (If that even makes sense) No family a couple hours away, no family a couple states away. It was just our "little" family in our new car, headed on our new adventure together. Our drive was easier than expected. Cameron drove most of the way, and I viewed lots of flat land and slept. Even LillyRose was better behaved than I expected. She did wonderful for such a little thing. The smaller the number of miles on the GPS got to our new destination, the more scared I became of the new life before our family. Then we made it to Virginia. We called several hotels, all out of luck, then finally we just showed up at one, which was wonderful, military discount and it was like a small apartment. I cried. I just needed to feel that small "feeling" that all would be well, and I finally did when I stepped into our "apartment hotel." It smelled fresh, the linens smelled clean, LillyRose was happy to roam the floors, and Cameron was happy the place had two small flat screen TV's. lol. ;) It took me awhile to get used to Virginia, however in the last month that I have been here, I know that I have been protected, guided and comforted through my own feelings of confusion.