A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.


Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.


She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.


Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 4 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.


My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Monday, August 6, 2012

As for now...

I have a few moments to myself to "journal." LOL!!! Life for our family has been pretty turned upside down, and there are some days where I have enjoyed the change of pace but there are others days, I can't wait to return back to "normal." Whatever that new normal will be, in terms of bringing Abraham home and recreating a new schedule for our family all over again, just when I thought I had it all worked out with LillyRose. :) Love how children change our plans in about 5 seconds. Like right now, LillyRose is asleep in the bedroom at the Ronald McDonald house and I am cherishing the time I have to blog, but also waiting for the "sound" that will drag me away from the screen. Hospital life has been overwhelming, frusterating and emotional for me. I will be thankful when I don't have to drive to the hospital just to feed my son. My experience with this particular NICU/PCN has not been as wonderful as the last experience I had with my daughter. Many times I have had to voice my wants as a parent and frusterations at the lack of communication on behalf of the nursing staff and doctors. I haven't complained about a hospital in a long time (Trust me when I say I have visited a few in my lifetime) however, I am not pleased with my experience at this particular hospital.

In all the "craziness" I have been trying to focus on finding the spiritual side of this particular experience because I know if I look at that side of all of this that it won't seem quite so overwhelming. My husband has said many times to me: "One day at a time." We are going on a total of 5 weeks in the hospital between my own stay and Abraham's stay in the NICU/PCN and time is getting away from us. We have a 3 week old son, and don't even know where the time has gone, and feel that TIME has been stolen from us, as we wait for him to come home to us.  Time really is so precious when I think about it. I guess that is one lesson that I have learned through this experience is that our time and how we spend it, is so valuable. Even who we spend our time with becomes valuable in life, I suppose? If I could slow time down right now, I would! My son will be a month old before I even get to take him home, and for this mom: It makes me a little sad to know that so much time has gone by before he's even spent one day in our home with his family. So many hands have touched him that don't even know him, more than my own have, and my prayer is that every set that does loves him just as much as I do (or at least close to as much as I do.)

Through all of this I have had three people in my life that have continued to walk with me during this trial: Cameron, my mom and LillyRose. We each have had our own set of feelings about this situation, but we have gotten stronger standing next to eachother than we would have seperately. 

And.....there's the sound....

Saturday, July 28, 2012

My good luck charm

On July 13th, a friday, my son was brought into this world at 7:32pm. He weighed 3lbs 5.6oz and was 16 and 3/4inches long. As I heard his cry, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and happiness knowing that he came into this world making the joyous noise I prayed he would, the only time in a mother's life that she hopes for her child's cry. As I went through his birth, I remember feeling nervous, excited and hopeful that his health was in good condition. Right after he was born, Daddy was able to take some pictures and then I was able to snuggle with him a little bit, he was breathing on his own, and was taken to the NICU. As I layed on the table getting stiched back up, Cameron was right there by my side just like he was with LillyRose, and I couldn't ask for a better partner to be there with me. Born just days before our two year anniversary, our son was just another gift in our marriage from God. I am so thankful for my little Friday the 13th Good Luck Charm! :)

In one week I got to experience many joyouse feelings. I feel like God has truly given me an answered prayer. A prayer that a little girl, then young woman prayed for with all of her heart. A person that I can spend the rest of my life with in happiness, A person that  loves me for me and wants the family I've always dreamed about having. A person that understands just gets me and accepts my flaws and perfections.  A prayer that only God would understand.

God knew what my heart wanted and needed and he gave it to me, and I trust in his plan for my life and in his goodness. I put faith in Jesus Christ and this has made my life so much more fulfilling than it has ever been. When a 15 year old girl makes a prayer, and isn't quite sure whether or not God hears her, but realizes 16 years later that he did, it can change a whole life in just one day. "A change of heart and a Change of life style" can happen. I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS 4 YEARS AGO! Christ has changed my heart and my life. Even through all the mistakes I've made in my life, God has been there with me, guiding me and I didn't even know it! Leading me in the right direction, placing in my path all the things that brought me back to him and the goodness he had for my future. The LOVE of my life, My children, Adventure, Service, Friendships, Experience, Motherhood, College, My testimony, Healing, and Happiness. I could go on deeper into the JOY of life that I feel moment to moment. The trials I have overcome, and felt over the last 4 years that have tested my faith in God, Jesus Christ and Gospel have also given me the peace I feel deep within me as well. And the fact that my peace comes from within myself and not from the approval of anyone else is how I know I truly am a different woman. Of course I struggle: that is what we are supposed to do in order to have growth in our lives!

I know that God lives and he hears and answers our prayers. And the fact that I know this for myself makes me full of sincere love for him, and extremely desirous of getting to know him better. I am so thankful for the birth of my son, and the gift God has given me. No words can describe what I feel about my little family-My prayer answered-In good times and bad, through thick and thin, Sealed for time and all eternity-Forever. My husband and I make a really good team-and he teaches me all the time how to forgive and be forgiven. He teaches me how to love myself. He sees with eyes I have yet to see with when he looks at me. Days out of the blue--are days that I find myself gaining a deeper sense of love for him just because he did something that no other person has done for me-Just the way he made me feel as a woman, or as a person. He reminds me that it's okay to be happy, it's okay to have a good marriage. I feel so lucky that he choose me. I have so many good luck charms in my life right now. :)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Little Things

I just wanted to share an experience I had this week because I feel inspired to do so. Cameron and I have been really struggling through some tough times financially because of certain uncontrolable circumstances, the savings we did have went to something that didn't work out, so when I got into my car accident we didn't have the savings we needed to cover the cost of our deductible, and the out of pocket expenses for the rental vehicle because of how long it was taking to fix our car. Our insurance company would only cover 900 dollars max on our rental and we were over that by about 275 dollars. We were able to cover our deductible with our credit card, but we didn't know where the other 275 was going to come from. After we counciled with our Bishop, he told us to pray and not to worry. At first when he gave us this advice, I was kind of like: "Um, but how does that help us?" I was still worrying. The day we picked up our car from the collision repair shop, we needed to return our rental and we still didn't know how we were going to pay for our rental out of pocket expenses. We had a coupon that would help save some money and we were hoping they would take it to lower the cost. When we called and asked about it, they said they didn't know if they could take it until we came in and they could look at it. With worry in my voice I left a voicemail for the Bishop, asking for his help as he said we could if we still were not able to cover the cost. We had come up with 125 dollars of the 275 but we were still short 150 dollars. We were really worried about how it would all work out. As Cameron and I came home from picking up our vehicle and thinking about returning the rental it was lunch time for Cameron. As Cameron was leaving for lunch, the mail lady came by and handed me the mail. It was an envelope from USAA. I opened it and inside was a check for the amount of 145.96 dollars. This challenge in our lives really has caused me to feel insecure and doubtful about how I feel about living in Virginia, and if "God was still really there?" If that makes sense, my faith was being tested and I didn't know how well I was passing the test. Other personal matters were taking a toll on my heart and on top of that I had my car accident, and I just felt like our stable little home was being rocked around! That check for almost the exact amount we were short to pay for our rental vehicle was the "sign" I had been praying about for about a month. I know it seems "cliche" or like maybe everyone has a "sign" like this, but for me it was just what I needed to wake up a little bit and realize that sometimes all God wants is for me to do my part: Simply trust in him and his promises in my life. While my Bishop's advice may have seemed simple to me and at the time I felt as though those things will "never" work: They did work. Also, the rental company did accept the coupon and it saved us 60.00. Sometimes it's the little things in life that make or break us. I just felt this experience was worth sharing, sometimes when we think nothing in life will work, no matter what we do, or how long we pray that if we hold on just a little longer and have faith that God will take care of us no matter what situation we are in, he will hear our prayers and help us in just the ways we need it. I am very thankful for the Love of my Father in Heaven, his servants on earth and a husband that "just knows it will all work out."

Friday, June 15, 2012

Life in Virginia

Life In Virginia

We just wanted to sit down and write all of you to let you know how we are doing, and what we have been up to! Since moving to Virginia we have done many new things such as: meet our new ward, attend the WA DC Temple, Visit WA DC national monuments and Cameron passed his new Mortuary Affairs Training with HONORS!! So proud of him! Our latest adventure even took us to the Smithsonian National Zoo! We had a great time seeing the Lions, Panda’s and Monkey’s! LillyRose enjoyed the kid zone where she met a cow named Rose!

Cameron is now adjusting to his new unit in the Army (111th Quartermaster Company). He often works in the motorpool and the office. His newest accomplishment is driving a REALLY big truck and trailer!  His unit is scheduled to deploy in August, however, we get to keep him around a little longer until after Abraham is born! Our best guess is that Cameron will deploy with his new unit for the first time around Christmas time or New Year’s. We ask for your prayers during this time, to help us transition through our separation, fears and adjustments. Deployment is such a special part of our lives and we certainly cannot do it without the support of our loved ones. Cameron will need your letters, emails and prayers of safety while he fights for the freedom of each of us.

Starr is working on her new craft room where she has been busy making bows, bow boards and crafts for sale at local events as a small vendor. Her goal is to make back the money invested into her materials, and extra for savings or paying off debts. If you don’t visit Facebook often, she was recently in a car accident, and is recovering well. We ask for prayers in our behalf surrounding the legal circumstances of this issue, because she is nervous about the outcome. Starr is now 28 weeks pregnant and is really feeling the effects of pregnancy, however, we are SO HAPPY that she is still at home with our family and not on bed rest and that Abraham is growing nice and BIG!

LillyRose is growing so quickly! She is now 27 inches tall, 19lbs and 9oz and walks all over the place! She enjoys watching her sign language video once a day, playing with her light up ball and working on learning how to use the puzzles that daddy got her. She enjoys surrounding mama’s feet in the kitchen while mama cooks and cleans. Her favorite food is strawberries and she loves Yogurt! She has a hard time drinking milk, but enjoys water and juice. She enjoys being outside and watching daddy’s birds eat from their feeders. She says “dada” “mama’ and shakes her head yes and no! She is growing with Heavenly Father’s help into a very Happy, and playful child! She has four teeth that are showing and two more getting ready to pop through! When daddy leaves she gets sad and cry’s for him, but recovers well with loves from mama. She is well nurtured and loved!

Our family is going through many changes and we know that Heavenly Father is right there helping us through those times, and we know that hard times are there to make us stronger. We also know that our love as a family unit is the most important priority in our lives, and have found that through stressful times we have remained steadfast to that love for one another, and we have experienced much joy because of it!

Starr and Cameron are working on creating a family unit that reflects what the savior has taught and each new experience has given us moments of reflection and peace. We enjoy spending time at home renting red box movies, and learning about each other’s strengthens and weaknesses. We are working on making Family Home Evening a priority and have started watching a church video once or twice a week that we got from the temple on topics for FHE, such as: Keeping the commandments, how real friends help you keep the commandments and that the commandments keep you safe from the “storms of life.” We are currently reading from the D&C and are trying to “get back to basic principles of the gospel” during our time of transition. We are learning how to become parents and find that though difficult, it is also one of those priceless gifts that Heavenly Father gives us to help us grow.


 Arlington National Cemetary




Cameron's Graduation from Mortuary Affairs Training, WITH HONORS!!!!!