A face without freckles is like a night without stars...

Starr is me, I am her, and she is I. She is so much more than she thinks she is. If you asked her, she would say she is just a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. However, she has been told many times, that she is more than that. Her loving Heavenly Father reminds her all the time, that she has gifts and talents to share with the world, and that like unto her name, she should let them so shine before others, that they may light the day, like the stars light the night. She is passionate, loyal, and gentle all at the same time.

Often when people see her they don't see a gentle, quiet and fragile woman; however, they are wrong. Deep down inside that's who she is, and only those who are truly looking, will see who she really is. If you happen to make it through her exosphere, consider yourself to be a blessed individual. Not many make it there, but when they do, they have a permanent place. Her caring ways, allow her to see things in the world a bit differently than others, unique to a fault.

She truly sees through a darkened glass, and can see beyond the darkness, and find hope throughout the world. Beyond her large, thick exterior are gems within her that are priceless, that are only valued on a spiritual level. Buried within the layers of her atmosphere are different pieces of her puzzle, and even she has yet to put all of the pieces into place. May you enjoy each piece she writes; they truly are the picture into her puzzle.

My Children

I am the mama of two all encompassing children, who own every ounce of my heart and soul, even the part their dad holds onto gets kicked out at times when one of the two does something magical to melt my heart. LillyRose is our precious big girl now, who is a whopping 6 years old! From the moment she wakes in the morning until her head hits the pillow at night in one way or another she reminds us that she holds a status the rest of us don't: Miss Diva Wildfire. Her independent nature, and natural ability to question the world around her has given her the actual gift of life, as every family member knew when she was born at 2lbs 6oz, a fighter since the day she was born.

Our son Abraham Jr. is our love bug. He has eyes that melt every inch of any woman's soul, Look out Ladies! At 5 years old, he is such a smarty pants and I LOVE it! His father recently said he had a genius on his hands, I didn't dispute him or his shining pride I felt emanating from his smile. My son is like the coals beneath a beautiful fire, and often times these parts of his personality help me through my days and "ignite my own fires within myself." Like his sister he too came into this world a fighter at 3lbs 6oz, and his tantrums prove to us that life wouldn't be as interesting without him.

My Children "run" the show, even though we would never admit that to them! That would result in utter defeat in our battle of parenthood. Our days revolve around their schedules, routines, likes, dislikes and even the amount of dishes in the sink when mommy has friends over! My oh my! ;) Together they make up the valves within our hearts, and are the blood circulating through our veins. We are extremely blessed to be their parents and though parenthood has tested us in ways we never imagined, I know we'd be lost without it.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Time goes by...

I wish that I had the ability to time travel and see what the future holds sometimes, because sometimes it would be easier to know just exactly what happens. Today is just another one of those days that I have had the past couple of weeks, where I don't quite feel like myself, and I don't have the tolerance, or patience for all the small things in life that I used to have the tolerence for. One thing I have learned about myself in the last few years, is that I am really bad at taking care of myself at times, especially during times when I feel like other people need me or want me. The past couple of weeks, I haven't taken very good care or myself or my own immediate family, and it took me to the point of acutally being awake for almost 24 hours to realize that no matter what is going on around me, I need to take time for myself. The reason I started this blog was to focus more on my total health and I know I haven't done that because the last time I wrote anything on here was a very long time ago. There are times in my life that I just don't quite know what to do with myself. I have been an up and down person pretty much my entire life, and sometimes it gets exhausting. I haven't been on my phone call in weeks, I haven't listened to my CD's in weeks, I haven't journaled in weeks. I havne't been doing all the things I know I should be doing. Sometimes I don't know how to express what I am feeling, most of the time what I am feeling feeds from other people's emotions. Emotionally, I am all mixed up inside about several different issues in my life. Spiritually, I feel as though satan has been tempting me for far too long since we have been sealed in the temple. Physically, I have been struggling to get my body moving more, eating healthy things again and I know all of the these factors play a part in how I am feeling all together. I love my family so much. I just don't have it in me all the time to be everything to everyone. People KNOW I am doing for one person and then get mad when I don't DO EXACTLY that thing for them. I don't know sometimes life just baffles me. Today I trying to work on the taking care of me thing, sometimes it comes out grumpy.